All Eeyz On Me - Disc 1 - Track 12

The much anticipated California trip is in progress… I will be out in L.A. and Vegas for the next 1.5 weeks with my buddy Chris poppin' Kris. Will be staying cool while enjoying the heat and all the other fun Cali type stuff.
Will have the details for the next blog.

Will be representing Gledale City and the 213 get at me if you want to party

Peace

Implied Racism

racism - a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race

Thank you for adding more fire into implied/indirect racism.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/03/15/disney.newprincess.ap/index.html

Here are a few quick thoughts about implied racism…

Must every person or story in this country make a big deal about everything that has to do with color? I mean seriously, do we really need to make a headline story about every event that occurs in this country which surrounds the fact that it has to do something with a colored person or a minority achieving or accomplishing some sort of a landmark.

Let’s make a big deal over a mixed presidential candidate, the two black coaches meeting in the Super Bowl for the first time, the first black Barbie, or the new Black Princess from Disney. We know that the media is controlled by white people, and as much as the majority of them state that racism is wrong, they turn around and bring it back indirectly through that same media, which in turns just creates more aggravation for African Americans or other minorities.

I do not think people want to get constant isolated recognition based on their color and not the actual achievement. So instead, let’s say that the Bears and the Colts were talented teams backed by two solid coaches. Unfortunately that statement will not raise any money, TV ratings, or drama so instead the fucking NFL blasted news stories all over TV and internet about how they are both black and are meeting at the Super Bowl for the first. GET OVER IT!!! No one wants to hear that shit. Fuck I am so sick of it.

My race is a fucking minority who did not serve white people, but instead got massacred by Turks and Muslims. Yes I am not a big fan of Muslims due to what they have done to my family, but I moved on and found other ways to channel my energy and get things done. Both blacks and whites are racist and every person in this country at some point in their lives has a racist thought. It is just part of human nature. So let’s just do us all a favor and get over that, move on with our lives and just recognize people based on their success and NOT because their success is tied to them being an African American, White, or Hispanic.

Ignorant people exist only to be ignored.

Six People

the sand was warm
the sun was hot
the water was salty
the sky was blue
the wind was gentle
the noise was soothing
the mind was free
the body was red
the heart was steady
the lungs were exhaled
the victory was flawless

South Beach was a lot more pleasing and relaxing the second time around...

Peace of Mind

I am taking a deep breath and holding it in for a couple of days . . .

Stuff

There is a lot of shit on my mind right now, stuff that I would like to talk about, but I am not at liberty to do so. Hopefully in the next two weeks or so things will fall into place and help me clear up my life up before the next birthday. Frankly, I really don't care about the next birthday, I am more concerned about marking off several things off my to do list and relaxing a bit while I am it. The things that will keep me focused are the completion of my tough Finance MBA class and my West Coast trip.
Whatever it is that might happen to me, I hope to come out of the experience a stronger person. I appreciate the willingness of my close people to be there for me, but I must handle these matters on my own. Mental perseverance and emotional intelligence are going to be key factors to my success.

The Ultimate Ending

I am not going to lie to you, but one of my biggest fears in life is death. I am sure there are plenty of people that fear death, but when I was in my early teens I thought I would never be one of them. Death has hit my family in the past when my grandfather died who was one of my life’s idols, and I came close to 3 near death experiences. All these events were very traumatic which I think caused me to fear death even more or at least think about it. I suppose it is a dormant fear because my mind is occupied with a million other things, but when it pops into my head it has through provoking impacts.

People say that death is easy because you no longer have to deal with life’s troubles since now you are in heaven or hell. I cannot believe that because my scientific background does not allow me to. I do not believe in heaven or hell, I believe in the inevitable destruction of my mental and physical being. Removal from society with nothing left but a rotted corpse and memories for the loved ones, without any physical resurrections occurring.

I am afraid because my abilities to control the act of natural death are very limited. When I come across something that I cannot control and cannot find ways to control, it becomes somewhat fearful. I am afraid because I will not be able to see the next level of technology and the monumental human research and development that will take place after my death, although I have seen plenty already. I am afraid that I will not be there to witness my family go through numerous generations. I am afraid because I will not be there to see the human race continue the exploration of the universes. I am afraid because my awareness to sense and feel alive will be gone. There are a lot of reasons and those are just a few major ones.

They say that one day the world will come to an end, or to put it in scientific terms, planet Earth will run out of natural resources to support the life of human species in the form they are today. I would not mind being there for that and dying because of that. Maybe it is selfish of me to say this, but if I die under those conditions then I will be dying at complete peace knowing that my death was really part of the big ENDING. I would be at rest because no one else is left alive to enjoy their state of being and that there was absolutely nothing left to live for.

With all the dreams I have had in the past 25 years, never once did I die in them. Just once I want to dream that I died and come to my funeral as a guest. I want to be at my funeral to see who showed up. Family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, enemies, girls I dated, people I pissed off, friends I lost, people that loved and hated me, teachers, bosses, strangers, and who ever else that cared enough. I want to be there to capture their facial expressions and feelings. Once the funeral is over I want to see how the life of those people changed. I am sure people will morn at first and then get over it after a while, but I want to be there to see it. I will become just a memory, but who will the one who will bring up the remembrance of me throughout their own lives.

I am not ready to die and I do not know if I will ever be ready. I am sitting here stressing about life like work, friends, love, having kids, finances, getting married, having a successful life, surviving on my own, paying tickets and stupid fines, staying out of trouble, and dealing with just about everything else you can image, but in reality health is the most important thing in life both mental and physical and none of these other elements of life will ever matter when I am laying on my death bed.

The paradox is that in order for me to be happy on my death bed, I have to care about all these elements of life.

Nowadays, I think that I am running out of time when I watch these young kids striking it big or becoming web billionaires as I like to call them. So for now, I am going to enjoy life to the outmost capacity that I can in my current state and suck all the good out of it. Right now I am managing this particular fear pretty well by occupying myself with society. I am going to do my best and avoid death, but I am not sure if I can control the ultimate result of my demise, which is nature. My hopes are that by the time I am old, science is so god damn advanced that I will be able to freeze my head and attach it to a new body and somehow regenerate my brain cells, but it is way to premature to have those hopes right now.

Death is the last most meaningful event in anyone’s life, but not if they lived an easy and pointless life.

The most significant event of 2006

It was time for me to move out on my own and this being a great market for buyers, I decided to push the trigger and made my second major investment by purchasing a condo townhouse. Getting a college degree was my first major investment, in case you were wondering.

It is a very spacious place and I got a great deal on it. Currently I am doing a complete overhaul of the place, remodeling just about everything to my own taste and hoping that one day it will be my own little cozy pretty pimp palace where I can entertain family and friends and learn new things by living on my own.