WTF

If I could do drugs without ruining my health and being able to function at work, I would do them everyday and live in solitude reading books, excluding myself from dealing with selfish fake people who only appear to care on the surface. I invest way too much into people and honestly I am done doing that. No one really knows me or understands me or knows what goes through my head. No one in this world other than my mother is really connected with me. And people say that they want to help, but they just say that shit because of self-gratitude of being there for someone, for the most part they have their own problems and could care less about yours.

I am glad some of my close friends are moving away and others already live in various states because it’s just going to force me to live on my own and not depend on social interaction as an element of repetitive satisfaction. I am jealous of people who are loners, but I must admit I have gotten a lot better over the past couple of years on being on my own and spending time by myself without the need of attention.

Everyone just please leave me alone, I mean seriously do not waste my time and try to be all friendly, cheery, and buddy buddy because most of you are just putting up a front. I am too old to play these stupid high school games, I dropped all the loser friends that I had or was acquainted with and I don’t need to pick up anymore or be surrounded with unreliable careless liars.

Please do not bother asking questions about this log and where these thoughts are coming from. I do not want to explain myself anymore. Honestly maybe the best thing for everyone to do is forget all the good qualities that I have because they haven't really benefited me that much other than getting a decent job.

Yes I am generalizing, so what, I do not care. Do not get offended, ok so you did, so what, I still do not care. I mean do you care? Nope! cuz you didn't pick the phone and called or texted? Oh wait you expected me to call first well guess what you probably have someone you connect with so what are you bitching about?!

SHIT IS FUCKED UP FOR ME OKAY. YOU DO NO KNOW SHIT ABOUT GROWING UP AS A SINGLE CHILD

Maybe I am just bored with life and not too many things excite me anymore other than coming home to my dog and remodeling my house. I don't care about work, school, cars (M3 is an exception), groupies, partying. I used to be all about these things, but all that shit is surface

I mean fuck I got pulled over today for running a stop sign out of the Progressive parking lot and then doing like 70 down alpha without a seat belt. I DO NOT CARE. The cop pulled me over and was shocked and said it was reckless driving. I said officer I really have no excuse or explanation so do whatever it is you do and lets get this over with. He said he could arrest me and take my license, I said that’s fine, and then again I repeated to him do whatever it is you have to do. I was being real with him. And he looked at me said you know what son, “you should care about your life more and drive more carefully, have a nice day”. I thanked him the light turned green and I drove off to meet my contractor

If I could do drugs without ruining my health and being able to function at work, I would do them everyday